I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
