I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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