Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
