i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
