Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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