We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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