Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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