Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
