i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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