Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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