Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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