No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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