I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize