the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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