Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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