Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I can't put those talents on a resume
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
