..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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