Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
