I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize