Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
