In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize