Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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