that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize