How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
