Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
