I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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