turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
