we have pet lesbian snakes
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
