I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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