Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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