I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
