she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
