she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize