how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
