Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize