he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
