Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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