Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i think i have herpe
just one?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
