I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
