When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
