I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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