Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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