Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
