Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
