quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
