he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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