btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
