hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
