the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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