I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
