You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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