And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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