9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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