Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just threw up on my dentist
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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