There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
