yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
