I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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